dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I want a musical about memes.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
