You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
