i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
