two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
