Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
ttyl tear gas
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize