ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
