why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
