So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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