I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
