this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
soo... how was my night?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
