Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
