i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize