I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
