Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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