One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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