found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
