just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize