what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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