I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
