I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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