ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
