Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
