Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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