this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize