I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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