Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
