he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
