none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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