Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
