let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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