i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
