We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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