I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
