your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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