Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
