ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
