i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
