you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
