Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
