Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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