we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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