But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
