Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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