loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
