I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
