He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
