I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
