hotel room ftw
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Randomize