oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
