dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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