That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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