Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
