Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
