When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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